 By Ruthanna Powell Relationship Champion and Encompass Partner When I asked Chuck and Gale Poole how they’ve managed to stay married for 50 years, Chuck laughed and said, “When the kids were home and I was upset, I could talk to them. After they left, I talked to the dog. Then the dog died—and we had to learn to communicate!”
That bit of humor sums up a lot about Chuck and Gale. Their relationship is real, resilient, and rooted in faith. As they look back on their golden anniversary, they shared what has carried them through five decades of marriage.
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 By Cindee Johnson Relationship Champion and Encompass Partner Our wedding was just a couple of months away. I was a divorced, single mom of two young children. Dave had never been married and had no children of his own. My kids bonded so well with him, and he fully supported my commitment to keeping their relationship strong with their birth father.
One relaxing Friday evening in August 1989, while talking over dinner about our upcoming marriage, the subject of date nights came up. I wondered out loud, “Will we still do evenings like this once we’re married?” “Why, yes, we will.” And yes, we have. And yes, we still do--nearly 36 years later as empty nesters. At the time, we had no idea how meaningful that decision would become.  By Lavern and Ronda Nissley Team Nissley Coaching & Consulting A surge of sadness and loss went through me the first time I (Lavern) saw my Dad walking more slowly and hunched over. He had always been active and a rather fast walker. Now he looked like an old man. Fortunately, this image of Dad didn't catch us off guard since we had numerous discussions with Mom and Dad about this stage of life. But it still hit me to see such a vivid picture of irreversible aging.
In 2018, after months of Ronda visiting her parents weekly in London, Ohio (about 45 minutes from our home in Springfield), we arrived at the mutual decision to relocate them to Wooded Glen, a long-term care facility in Springfield. In 2019, we did the same for Lavern's parents, moving them from Arthur, Illinois, to a condo in Springfield. These decisions were fully processed with respective parents and siblings, with the idea that the two of us would take the lead in helping our parents navigate their twilight years. Only one of those four parents is still living. Lavern's Dad passed in November 2021, his Mom in March 2023, and Ronda's Mom in September 2023. Ronda's Dad is approaching his 95th birthday on August 17. So, how did this all work out? How were relationships affected? What did we learn about the initiative to care for our aging parents?  By Dr. David Marine Mabry Executive Director of Encompass Connection Center As we step into August, we’re exploring what it means to do family life through the stages—starting today with marriage in mid-life.
Marriage in the 40–65 range brings unique joys, challenges, and adjustments. Children may be leaving the house or growing more independent. Aging parents may need increasing support. Careers evolve or plateau. Our own bodies, dreams, and identities shift. And yet… something beautiful can happen here. Theresa and I have been married since 1993. We’ve weathered a lot together—raising kids, ministry transitions, career changes, personal growth seasons. What strikes me most as we live in this “mid-life” chapter is not how much we’ve changed… but how essential it is that we keep changing. The key isn’t resisting change. It’s embracing the person your spouse is becoming, and continuing to show up as the person you’re becoming too. |
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HostsDr. David Marine and Theresa Mabry are Co-Directors of Encompass since June 1, 2024. TOPICS
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Program content is the sole responsibility of Encompass Connection Center and does not necessarily represent the views of the funders.
Encompass Connection Center services are provided to all eligible persons on a non-discriminatory basis. Encompass Connection Center complies with all applicable laws and regulations concerning discrimination does not discriminate on the basis of the potential participant's race, gender, gender orientation, age, disability or religion.
Registered 501(c)(3). EIN: 37-1485217