5 Relationship Skills That Make Teams Thrive

By Lavern Nissley
Encompass Relationship Facilitator

Recently, I made a list of all the employers I've had in my life, not counting seasons of self-employment and consulting. The total number of employers over about 6 decades came to 13, with the very first being corn detasseling at age 14 on a seed corn farm near Goshen, Indiana. 
In addition to these 13 jobs, there have also been dozens of volunteer assignments like boards, task forces, teams, etc. All have involved interacting with people, with most of the experiences being positive. 
Strong teams aren’t built on talent alone--they’re built on relationships. When people feel connected, respected, and valued, collaboration becomes natural and productivity soars.  
Here are five essential relationship skills, plus real-world examples to show how they work in action. 

1. Communication: Say It Clearly, Hear It Fully 

Great communication is more than talking--it’s about clarity and listening. 

• Say it clearly: Avoid jargon and unclear assumptions. Being sensitive to newcomers unfamiliar with “insider lingo” builds clarity for all. 

• Hear it fully: Listen with curiosity, not judgment. This means suspending my own opinion temporarily until I fully understand what's been shared. 

Example: 
During a staff meeting, a team member says, “We’re losing our focus and getting off mission”. Instead of assuming what that means, the team leader asks, “Can you clarify your understanding of our mission and how you see us going off track?” This simple question prevents confusion and keeps everyone aligned. 

Pro Tip: Try the “repeat back” technique—summarize what you heard before responding. It prevents misunderstandings and builds trust. 
 
2. Trust: Build It Daily 

Trust isn’t a one-time achievement; it’s a daily practice. 

• Show reliability: Do what you say you’ll do. Nothing breaks trust like failing to follow through. Another assumed sign of reliability is showing up on time consistently. Think "clockwork". 

• Be transparent: Share information openly and admit mistakes, especially where the information affects team members and their work. 

Example: 
A team leader misses a deadline but immediately informs the group, explains why, and sets a new realistic timeline. Owning the mistake openly strengthens trust rather than eroding it. 

Why it matters: Teams with high trust take risks, innovate, and support each other—even under pressure. It's fulfilling to be part of a team where you can count on every member. 
 
3. Appreciation: Recognize and Celebrate 

People crave acknowledgment. Appreciation fuels motivation and strengthens bonds. 

• Recognize effort: Don’t wait for big wins—celebrate small victories too. 

• Be specific: Instead of “Great job,” say, “Your attention to detail made that project shine.” 

Examples: 

• At a recent team meeting I attended as a volunteer, the person leading the meeting went around the table and shared specific appreciations associated with each participant. Those specific praises made everyone feel valued and motivated, including me! 

• Many team meetings at the church I attend begin with the sharing of "wins". It's an open invitation to express gratitude for something that went well or had a positive outcome. It’s a great way to set a positive tone. 

Quick idea: Start meetings with a “shout-out” round where team members recognize each other’s contributions. Positives shared about people in a public setting have a greater impact than just sharing them individually. 
 
4. Feedback: Give It With Grace 

Stuff happens in work and team settings. Sometimes mistakes are made, or communication goes sideways. Feedback is a gift—when graciously delivered. 

• Be constructive: Focus on behaviors, not personalities. Stay away from mindreading, name-calling, “You always..” or “You never…” and blaming/accusing. It's possible to be assertive without attacking. 

• Balance: Pair improvement points with genuine positives. The ratio is about 15-20 positives for every negative. 

Tip: Use the “XYZ” model to keep feedback focused and helpful where X=specific behavior of concern, Y=how you were affected, and Z=your alternative preference. “When you did X, I felt Y. I wish Z.” 

Example of the XYZ approach: A team member repeatedly interrupts you or finishes your sentences. Consider a private conversation: “I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but (X) when you repeatedly interrupt me, I feel (Y) invisible and frustrated. I wish (Z) you would let me finish my thought before responding. I also want to hear what you have to say, and I’ll listen without interruption when you ‘have the floor.’” 

NOTE: This does not guarantee a positive response from the other party, but it is being respectful and assertive. You are taking the high road. 
 
5. Fun: Make Space for Joy 

Work doesn’t have to be all serious. Fun creates connection and reduces stress. 

• Celebrate milestones: Birthdays, project completions, or even quirky holidays. 

• Inject play: Trivia breaks, team challenges, or creative icebreakers. 

Examples: 

• One of my 13 jobs was with a mission organization where about 12 office staff took a 15-minute ping pong break at 10 am and 3 pm every day. The good-natured competition and physical activity were refreshing. Our “saws” got sharpened! 
• A workplace I visited in Springfield had 5-6 team members breaking for a round of Jenga every Friday. They often used these breaks to invite community guests to play and share about their organizations. I remembered thinking, as a guest, "This would be a great place to  work!" 
• At Encompass, team meetings have started for years with simple icebreakers, generated by a different team member each meeting. Icebreakers are a great way to learn more about team members and to experience laughter together. Here is a LINK to 100 Icebreakers Questions to Lighten up the Workplace. 

Why it works: Joy sparks creativity and makes teams more resilient during tough times. 
 
Final Thoughts 

Teams thrive when relationships thrive. These five skills--Communication, Trust, Appreciation, Feedback, and Fun--aren’t just nice-to-haves; they’re the foundation of a healthy, high-performing culture. Start practicing them today, and watch your team transform. 

The twin rails of every successful team are: 1) Getting along, and 2) Getting things done. Both are needed, and when they're happening, you can expect fruitfulness and fulfillment. 

Encompass Connection Center provides a cutting edge course, Work Smart, Live Well, that builds healthy workplace and team relationships.