3 ways to strengthen your relationships over the holidays

By Lavern Nissley
Encompass Relationship Facilitator

The holidays can be tough on relationships. We know because of the usual uptick in calls for help in January! You've been together with family and friends which provides a lot more time and space for conversations than usual. Tangible gifts are given and received. And some are later returned.

What are some gifts we could give that are precious, priceless, and premeditated to strengthen and deepen relationships?

Here are three ways to strengthen your relationships that have a proven track record of success. Each one is a gift to those you love, or that you want to love better. Each one is rather sacrificial in nature - meaning it may not be easy, fun, or self-satisfying.

• Give the gift of listening well. Put your own thoughts and opinions on the back burner for now and really zoom in on what others are saying. What is the content? What are the emotions? Could you mirror back what you hear them saying? Most people feel loved and respected when someone takes the time and energy to listen. Really listen. I recall an individual years ago who commented to me how good it felt to have someone seek to understand her in a supportive, nonjudgmental way.
• Give the gift of keeping it positive. There is no question that things are scary, bad, and depressing all around us. Many of us have personally experienced losses and traumas in 2024 that has us preoccupied with pain, seeking justice, and maybe getting even. A great way to change the dark, toxic atmosphere in any room is to light the candle of gratitude and express what you've been blessed by. How have people made your life better? How has this affected you? What are you excited about doing to make the world better?
• Give the gift of a warm smile. Without saying a word, we can communicate genuine kindness and connection. Some research has found that it requires fewer facial muscles to smile than to frown. Other research has found just the opposite. The real question is: What nonverbal messages do people see being transmitted from my face? What could be the impact of intentionally smiling more (as long as it's not cheesy, of course)? An authentic and heartfelt smile can be like a breath of fresh air.

Now, let's be realistic. Perhaps you're not at a place where you can give the above three gifts, but you would benefit from receiving them yourself. Life has a way of taking us through dark valleys and painful losses. And the last thing you need is to think about giving more of yourself to others.

Here's a thought. There just may be some individuals you'll see over the holidays for whom the last paragraph is very real. Is there any way you could give them the gifts of listening well, keeping it positive, and a warm smile? If so, you are strengthening relationships. Well done!