Seven Phrases that Healthy Couples Use

By Dr David Marine Mabry
Encompass Executive Director

Have you ever looked at a couple and thought, “Wow, how did they get so lucky? They make marriage look effortless!” Here’s the secret: it’s not luck. Every strong relationship you see takes effort, patience, and intentional communication. Behind that sense of ease lies a shared commitment to building and nurturing the relationship—something every couple can cultivate. ​

The good news? You can experience that same sense of connection in your own relationship. Couples who seem to “have it all together” often use simple, thoughtful phrases to strengthen their bond. These phrases foster intimacy, understanding, and appreciation. Today, we’re sharing seven powerful phrases that healthy couples regularly use—and if you start using them in your conversations, you’ll likely see some positive changes. You don’t have to follow them word-for-word but try to capture the sentiment behind each one. Ready? Let’s dive in! 

 1. “I love you.” 
 This might seem obvious, but it’s easy to let this phrase lose its meaning through habit. Go beyond the casual “love ya” thrown out as you rush out the door or hang up the phone. Instead, take a moment to look into your partner’s eyes and say, “I love you” with intention. Feeling valued and loved is at the core of any healthy marriage, and this simple act goes a long way in nurturing that bond. 

 2. “I forgive you” or “Will you forgive me?” 
 No matter how much love is in a relationship, mistakes happen. Sometimes, intentionally or not, we hurt our partners. When this happens, don’t assume time will heal all wounds. Acknowledge the hurt, apologize sincerely, and ask for forgiveness. If you’re the one who’s been hurt, it’s okay to express that pain before you extend forgiveness. Open communication like this helps clear the air and brings you closer, reinforcing the importance of vulnerability and trust. 

 3. “I hear you saying…” 
 Active listening is a game-changer in any relationship. By repeating what your partner says, you’re showing that you’re truly listening, that you understand, and that you care. This simple step can prevent misunderstandings and allow for clearer, more respectful conversations.  
 Here’s how it works: Instead of, “You always leave your socks on the floor,” Partner A could say, “Could you put your socks in the hamper before bed? When you leave them on the floor, I feel like you expect me to pick them up.” 
Partner B can respond with, “What I hear you saying is that when I leave my socks on the floor, it makes you feel like I expect you to clean up after me. Is that right?” This shows Partner B is engaged in the conversation and values Partner A’s perspective. 

 4. “How can I be most helpful to you today?” or “What would be most helpful for me today is…” 
 Stop guessing what your partner needs—just ask. A quick question like this cuts down on unnecessary frustration and allows you to genuinely support each other. On the flip side, don’t hesitate to express your own needs. Being clear and upfront about how your spouse can help will reduce misunderstandings and strengthen your partnership. 

 5. “I appreciate you for…” or “Thank you for…” 
 Gratitude goes a long way in maintaining a healthy relationship. When you acknowledge your spouse’s efforts, big or small, you let them know that they are seen and valued. Whether it’s thanking them for something as simple as cooking dinner or appreciating their emotional support, showing gratitude strengthens emotional bonds and reminds both of you not to take each other for granted. 
 
6. “I want or I wish more or less of…” 
 This phrase is a gentle way to communicate your desires without sounding demanding. For example, you could say, “I want us to spend more time talking in the evenings,” or “I wish we could have more family dinners.” This opens the door for healthy conversations about how to meet each other’s needs and make small, meaningful adjustments. 
 
7. “Let’s share our highs and lows from the day.” 
 Sometimes, the most intimate conversations come from simply sharing the details of your day—whether they’re exciting, frustrating, or downright mundane. Taking time to listen to your partner’s experiences and sharing your own can deepen your connection and help create a safe space to process life’s ups and downs. No need to solve each other’s problems—just listen and be present for one another. 
 
If some of these phrases feel awkward or unfamiliar, that’s okay. Starting something new often does. Begin by introducing just one into your daily conversations and see how your partner responds. With time, these phrases will become second nature, and you’ll both feel more connected. Soon, people might start looking at you and thinking, “They make marriage look so easy!” 
 
Remember this encouragement from Hebrews 3:13: “But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called ‘Today,’ so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” 
 
So, why not start today? 
 
 

Need help learning how to communicate better with your partner? Our RINGS program may be exactly the tool you need! Reach out to us to schedule a free intake appointment today!